2010 A Retrospectus...

Before I get to far lets deal with your biggest Christmas fear... not knowing what to get me, the man who has everything. Well in the spirit of Christmas here are some guidelines to ask yourself while Christmas shopping for yours truly.

Is it awesome? If yes than buy it.

Will this help Ryan cover up his nerditude? If yes go directly to check out.

Will this help Ryan proudly display his nerditude? If yes you have a winner.

Is this AVATAR? If Yes place back on shelf and wash your hands before you next see me... then never speak of it again

If you are still confused here is my list.

1. Call of duty Black ops
2.Halo reach
3.Season 1 of community
4.A time machine
5.Anything about zombies
6.A freeze ray..(tell your friends)
7.A Hat
8.Some kind of vest
9.i tunes gift card
10.Anything that says "awesome"

Good Luck I am sure that you will do fine.

2010 a retrospectus;

Well my beloved sojourners, 2010 was a truly amazing year. I was able to cross a few items off my list. I met new friends and reunited with old friends, sang in public, shaved my head, lost a dodgeball tournamnet, got a gun, had a food fight and somehow managed to fool Danyell into staying my wife for another year..sucker!

I want to thank all my friends who were helped my cross off items from my list... I also want to publicly shame all my "friends" that were too cowardly to go skydiving..for shame!

The Year 2010 was a pretty epic year. Here is my list of the top 10 awesomest things of 2010.

10.The dodgeball tournament I was in...actually that sucked because we came in last place :(
9.Getting a new TV
8.The Halloween Party
7.The Expendables.
6.Danyells big 30 party
5.Left 4 dead 2
4.Halo Reach
3.Reagan's first trip to New York
2.Eating New York pizza everyday for a week
1.Skydiving

2010 did have some lows...
My own brother publicly admitted that he doesn't like laser tag...wtf Kyle? I don't know how we are even related. Maybe you are just jealous of my mad laser tag skills...yeah I bet that's it. Besides the laser tag incident, I don't think 2010 had a single unawesome moment.

I want to thank all my friends for putting up with me for so long. All of the awesome stuff I had done this year would have been totally lame with out my dearly beloved reprobate friends who can turn even the most mundane activities into death defying experiences of varying legality.

So as we say goodbye to 2010 here is wishing you all a great 2011...May your days be filled with laughter and your nights filled with Halo Reach.


Your Guide for Life,
-Ryan

P.S. Stay tuned for my news years resolutions...spoiler alert...they are awesome.

Gone In Sixty Seconds

(Okay, not gone but 2 miles lower elevation than where I was.)

First a few “thank yous” are in order.

My beautiful wife Danyell (my spelling not hers) who gave me the Second Greatest birthday gift ever (the first being a time machine/being bitten by a radioactive spider) the gift of awesome.

I also have to thank my Bro, and James Tidwell who accepted the charges when awesomeness called.

Of course the awesome staff at Skydive Utah.

Well I have officially skydove. For those of you who don’t speak awesome that means "skydived” ( I like my way better). It really wasn’t very hard: I let gravity do most the work. In fact, there’s no trick to it, it’s just a simple trick. Belly, Breathe, Banana and you’re a pro. If I was making the rules I would have put breathe first but it seemed to work out alright.

While 60 Seconds may not sound like a very long time, I was surprised by the range of emotions I felt in such a brief time.

I felt the following emotions; fear, confusion, panic, awesome,wonder and awesome.

While you are hurdling towards the ground at over 130 mph you really get to know what is important to you. While I was falling, I kept thinking there is no way superman or other super heroes could possibly breathe while they are flying. Seriously, it is really, really hard to breathe and most super heroes go even faster than I was going! Other than that my thoughts were along the lines of booooo yaaaahhhh!

Here is my advice. If you are ever given the opportunity to Skydive; do it. There will always be a thousand reasons not too, but none of them are any good. I have done a lot of awesome stuff in my life, but there is nothing that compares to skydiving.

Thanks again to my wife who always makes my life an adventure.

Your Guide for Life,

-Ryan

What IF I was deranged?

10 points for anyone who got the reference.


Sometimes the best things in life are dangerously explosive. Case in point Spud guns. In fact spud guns are so awesome that they may replace cake batter ice cream as the greatest non-sentient things on the planet. The jury is still out though.

How can a few pieces of PVC pipe, a BBQ lighter and a potato be so awesome? Well you can't really explain the joy and fulfillment in life when, after a surprising loud BOOM, a potato flies off into the sunset. At that moment in time you know that life is good.

Since spud guns are a right of passage into to boyhood, I think that an already awesome adolescence is at long last complete.

Even though a spud gun is an incredibly simple contraption I still owe a lot of thank yous.

Danyell; Who went to Home Depot while I was at work and bought all the parts I needed.

The Home Depot Guy; Who helped Danyell get all the parts.

Jon and Lenzi Van Wagoner; With out their lawn and various flammable liquids the spud gun would still be only a dream.

Thanks Guys!

In conclusion, spud guns are freakin awesome! Everyone should at one time or another shoot a spud gun.

Your Guide for life,

-Ryan Mahoney